Update! What I’ve Been Up To

Hi friends! So as some of you might have noticed I’ve been M.I.A. for the past few months…ok more like almost a year. Sometimes life gives you a giant middle finger and you have to take a detour for a while. The end of the detour is in sight and I finally feel like me again. Everyone goes though a rough patch and mine just happened to last for a few months. In a lot of ways I have always felt like an outsider. I grew up much differently than my friends did and I struggled with connecting to people. With that said, my main goal for my blog and YouTube channels is to help individuals realize that it is ok to be different. Sure I talk and write about mostly superficial stuff but I’m odd and awkward and all of that is ok. I want people to feel at home when they are watching one of my videos or reading one of my posts. Growing up can be rough but there are always better things ahead. With that said, I would like to do a bit of an update. Maybe some of you are going through something similar. It sucks but life gets better I promise. Hopefully some of you can feel a sense of belonging while reading this. Others may just find this interesting. So before this introduction gets too long, let me jump into the beginning.

Last September my six year relationship ended. That sucked. The last year of our relationship wasn’t good. There were a lot of things going on with my family that put some strains on our relationship. We started to grow apart and came to the realization that we wanted different things in life. It did not end well. I was mad and hurt for a long time and some days I still feel it. I felt abandoned and was mad that I had made myself so vulnerable to him. I was mad that I experienced so many life changing events with him. I wondered how anyone else would understand me since they didn’t live these things with me. I live my life trying to be gratefully for everything that I have experienced because all of these events, good or bad, have shaped me and made me who I am today. I am proud of the person I’ve become. There are always things to work on but you have to take life one day at a time.

While I’m busy being pissed and hurt I realize that I’m going to have to move at the end of my lease because I won’t be able to afford my apartment on my own. Until now I’ve never lived on my own and was scared. Would I be able to afford to live on my own? Would I feel safe? Would I be happy? These were all things that ran through my mind and they would tear me up at night. It got to a point that I hated being in my apartment because it was a constant reminder that I would have to leave soon. Since I hated being home I spent a lot of time out. After the split I realized I didn’t have a lot of friends because I isolated myself so much during my old relationship. So here I am, 23 years old and I feel like I’m back in kindergarten trying to make friends. I started hanging out with one of my old co-workers and actually started building a really great friendship with her. I started hanging out with a lot of her friends and actually met my current boyfriend through them. I spent many months wanting nothing to do with men before my heart actually warmed up to the idea that someone else may be willing to put up with all my quarks and possibly even like them.

Shortly after we started dating it was time for me to move. I’m honestly surprised all my hair didn’t fall out with how stressed I was with looking for a place and coordinating the actual move. Moving went well for the most part with exception to some minor family issues that irritated me. I was talking to a friend one night about my move and venting a little and it turns out that we have a lot in common. With her I found a group of people that understand and went through a lot of the not so normal family stuff I’ve lived through. With them I’ve been able to let go of a lot of my anger and hurt. There are some things that you will never forget but it’s nice to know you are not alone.

I’m going to wrap up the longest blog post ever and let you know that I am back in the right mindset and ready to start uploading blog posts and videos regularly again. I have a couple videos planned that I am really excited about. As always, feel free to leave a comment with future video and blog post suggestions. I thank you all for the support I’ve received on my sites while I’ve been absent. I’ve recently hit over 148,000 views on my channel. That is insane! I can’t thank you all enough. Remember you are always loved and will make it through anything because you are a warrior.

xoxo
     Warriormakeup